Rent A Dreamy Guest Room In My Adorable Ass House In The Catskills To Work A Big Project Or A Cool Scam Or Just Enjoy Nature And We Can Do Crafts And Prank Calls

Hello friends, strangers, colleagues, current and future rivals/lovers/kindred spirits/all of the above! Last summer I had a great time renting out my guest bedroom in my house in the Catskills (2 hours 10 min drive or bus from NYC) to a jovial tech founder whose poetry is actually good, a radiant gay witch writing a memoir, and a lively Russian-American journalist who, for reasons unknown, had an ’82 Pontiac Firebird for one day of her visit and well, we made good use of it! And many more! You don’t need to be working on a creative project to rent it, you can just want an affordable getaway upstate to wander in the woods or chain-smoke on a porch swing and not want to use Airbnb because gestures broadly at the many ills borne of Silicon Valley’s stranglehold on the vacation and hospitality markets, their sinister budget-Kinfolk-ass interior design agenda, aaaand destroying affordable rental markets. To avoid juggling too many different visitors and also to keep the price well below market, I rent the guest room out by the week for $300 (if you’re a bigger party and need the attached room as per below or if you will need to use my car while you’re here, we can discuss rates) and offer discounts to those who stay longer. Without further ado…

BEHOLD, THE 129-YEAR OLD FARMHOUSE + BUCOLIC SURROUNDINGS YOU ARE FREE TO ROAM WITHIN MY 1.5 ACRES DEMARCATED BY BLUESTONE STACKED ALONG THE PERIMETER:

The house is located in the Highwoods neighborhood between Woodstock and Saugerties in Ulster County, towns with plenty of amenities and good city folk-type fun if you’re looking for that sort of thing. Otherwise, plenty of swimming holes and hiking trails and haunted stuff to get into. The room itself has four windows on three walls that gets great light all day, a full bed, writing desk and chair, two small chests of drawers and closet for storage, a window air-conditioning unit or any number of fans. It is connected railroad style to the entertainment room which you’re welcome to spend time in and if you’re a larger group and want to rent both rooms, the sofa folds out to roughly a full-sized bed. The TV has HBO, Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, etc and so forth.

BEHOLD, THE RENTAL ROOM AND THE ADJACENT TEEN DREAM ENTERTAINMENT LOUNGE THAT YOU’RE FREE TO USE TO CHILL, WATCH TV, AND DO NOTHING UNTOWARD WITH THE KEANU RUG:

Your bathroom is downstairs and thus separate from the unit but I tend not to use it except for anything laundry when guests are here as my room has its own. I’ve got you covered with plenty of towels and sheets for inside and an assortment of blankets and furniture well-suited to the outdoors if you’re going the Walden way. You can do laundry too (and it is encouraged when the gnarlier swamp temperatures arrive!) Speaking of gnarly swamp folk…

BEHOLD! THE NOBLE BEAST AND I, HIS HUMBLE SERVANT WHOMST DWELL HERE AND WILL BE PLEASED TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE:

So Keith is an ultra-friendly cuddly cat friend who has never met a person he hasn’t felt immediately compelled to emotionally manipulate into hanging out with him and running devilish errands on his behalf. That said, if you are not interested in him or are allergic, he is not allowed in either of the rooms in the rental unit regardless of whether someone is in them so they’re fur-free (teaching him this boundary was arduous and so if you DO like him, please still remember to keep the doors shut to those rooms so as not to unmake pretty much the only rule I’ve ever successfully enforced on him!). Also, the first photo is misleading in featuring him outdoors, which is only allowed under my hawk-eyed supervision and I’ve secured him a perimeter so don’t leave doors to the outdoors open, he will run out just to make you feel bad about it!

THE REST OF THE HOUSE IS PUH-RETTY NEAT TOO:

The crafts and pranks calls mentioned in the headline are not mandatory, I’m no tyrant. We can have as many or as few evenings making deranged pinecone and collage crafts and talking shop (shared shop or otherwise) over drinks during thunderstorms (water MANDATORY, alcohol optional). Mostly I want guests to feel welcome and comfortable, so the only real “rules” are the ones about feline safety and keeping doors closed, not starting forest fires with cigs, blunts, or blow torches (you can smoke whate’er you please on the porch!), and know that the only reason I will enter your room while you’re not in it is if you’ve left the AC unit running like some kind of depraved environmental outlaw.

If you’re interested, fill out the form below and I’ll be making calls to arrange on a rolling basis right away. To hold a set of dates, I need a 50% deposit via Venmo, Paypal, Zelle, or Google Wallet and can provide details on refund eligibility for cancellations according to dates. Happy summer and I’ll hope to see some of you soon!

Name *
Name
Phone Number *
Phone Number
Dates Of Visit *
I put general times here because I like to space out the summer renters so they're not back to back and I can arrange my own travel and personal events accordingly. Check as many or few as apply and let me know in the form section if there are specific dates you have in mind and I will try to accommodate as best I can.
Tell me a bit about yourself, where you'll be coming from, what you're hoping to do/see/accomplish if you visit, etc. This isn't a competition by any means so don't stress over this part, I just want to know more about folks who might come and stay.
Anything you'd like to know or let me know before potentially booking? Do tell/inquire!