GLAMOROUS DREAMS ARE NOT WINNING THINGS: A Fashion Story

There once lived a peasant girl who longed to be glamorous.

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But most, she just scampered about her woodland home, unaware of the terrible world beyond.

scamper manon

She tried to find the latest fashions but the wicked villagers kept her from her glamorous dreams of couture elegance.

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Little did the townspeople know, there was a cohort of the most elite members of the glamour brigade in desperate need of a look that might inspire them.

famine of beauty

There were some that approached the great emperors of glamour with great courage and stunning looks.

i like glamour linda evangelista

They were quickly rebuffed, not because they lacked beauty but because they lacked courage.

anna wintour frightened of fashion

There was also a contingent among the glamorous that did not understand the intellect required to be the great beauty for the brigade.

cindy crawford

The Great Empress tried to make them understand the gravity of the undertaking.

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Alas, the spoilt fashion babies would accept none of her truths, defiant until the very end.

shut the hell up gemma ward

The seasoned veteran, Her Royal Cheekbones of Glamour, would try to tell them what's what.

you're an idiot naomi campbell

But the little beasts attempted to excuse their sloth as if it were something cute.

sitting on my butt

But cute does not cut it in the world of glamour and the maidens incited ire in their mentors.

yelled at a girl tyra

But one day, Sultan Sunglasses spotted a woman out of the corner of his eye whom he thought might undue the glamour famine.

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She was taken aback by this creature, the likes of which she had never seen.

Frightened Manon

But he put her mind at ease by telling her his theories of glamour.

karl-lagerfeld chic

And he gave her some practical advice as well.

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Suddenly, everyone who had once derided her had an opinion on what she ought to do with her life, her career, and her glamour, offering her suggestions on where to take her career that meant little to her.

versace kanye

Some of it was kind, but basically vacant.

treasure yourself

Some, even more so.

dont worry cara

The young maiden grew angry that she had trust the German vampire in shades, growing irate.

you are a nobody

He conceded as much when it came to glamour.

never went to fashion school

She realized this was largely a world of frauds and made a swift decision to return her to her golden locks.

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The Great Empress was not impressed with this fiasco.

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Her Royal Cheekbones of Glamour was even less forgiving.

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And so she did what anyone might do in her situation: conjured the powers of fashion Hell.

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The peasant girl quickly ascended to where she ought to be: the heavens above where she could embrace peasants like herself.

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It was a day for great lessons among the cohort for who stood a chance and who did not.

luxury or nothing

And the Angel of Glamour Truth sent out a decree that very day, warning other peasants and even her own colleagues of what comes to pass for those who tread in their waters.

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