The Parallel Lives of Alana & Litter Critter

Now my understanding is that there are a lot of really great and inspiring passages in the book  Lean In, the smash hit about Type A white women breaking windows wearing power suits and Reeboks. Or so I'm told.  I didn't have to read Lean In in order to find inspiration from people whose lives I hope to emulate because I already have a limitless resource to provide inspiration for me to be my best self without being down when things don't go my way. His name is Little Critter and he is an absolute fucking disaster.

just a mess pic










Little Critter, though always in my heart, was on a sojourn in the country for some time before that adorable little fuck-up came back into my life to make me feel less alone, more worthy, and most of all, entirely justified in my refusal to do the right thing at any given time when the right thing is called for. Recent weeks have reopened my heart to possibility, adventure, and the deep solace of sameness that only people with true soul mates experience.

For example, Little Critter and I have both always been inclined to foul temperaments.











We simply can't be expected to withhold our distaste for situations that cause us any displeasure.  And why should we? Withholding emotions is a leading cause of death in the American Journal of Pinterest Pseudo-Scientific Health Quotes.

But things aren't all bad for Little Critter and I.  There are things we love! Like our best friends!











Seriously, there is nothing better than spending time with your best friend and platonically putting an arm around them in nature.  Particularly on weekends where you find dead swans in the lake you're swimming in like in the photo of me above.  I don't remember this particular Little Critter book but I'm pretty sure that they found and photographed dead water fowl also.

That said, sometimes you need alone time. And alone time means one thing for me and Little Critter:  enriching our interior lives with meditation and literature.

Just kidding, alone time means indulging our vanity and narcissism with mirror selfies and flexing.











Seriously, the kid is pretty cut for a squat and unidentifiable mammal. And Little Critter is strong too! Badumcha, tip your waitress.

One thing that Little Critter and I did not have in common until I reached senior citizenship last year when I turned 28 was forgetfulness. I had the memory of an elephant, I tell you. It was downright eerie what I could recall. It drove a wedge between me and Little Critter, to be honest. But now that I'm decrepit, I can't remember a damn thing and am easily confused by things like water faucets too.











Now as happy as I am that I've found a twin soul in Little Critter, one of the exciting things about our partnership is what he can teach me and what I can teach him. For example, he is a whiz at personal finance:











On the flip side, one of my greatest talents is going to bed at unreasonably early hours whereas Little Critter prefers to party in his bunny rabbit pajamas like a common hooligan:











But no matter what happens, no matter what we go through together or apart, I know that Little Critter and I share common values and aspirations. And that with a little help from one another, our future are full of unlimited possibilities.